She sits by the window watching the soft snow fall gently to the ground. She watched Big Ben as it's hands were slowly moving and in the background she can hear the solid cry’s of a new born babe. She reluctantly pulls herself from the frosted window to care for the crying infant. Stiff and sore from the previous days exertions she slowly makes her way to the bassinet. She pears down to an red wrinkled babe. “Could this babe really be hers, Did she really deliver such a tiny creature?” the thoughts raced across her mind.  What was she going to do now, how was she going to be able to care for a babe? She still had one term left of university. She struggled with the thought of not being able to finish her schooling as she carried the wrinkled babe to a chair.  

  Sitting in the plush chair she pressed the babe to her breast. The babe latched on with a firm grip and began to nurse. “At least he is strong” she thought to herself, “ He will grow up to be a fine lad”

   She never knew the father of the babe, and she probably never will. About nine months before a few of her hall mates were going to the local pub and suggested that she join them. “I’ll only have a nip” she told them. Soon after her hall mates started buying her drinks then all she remembers after that was waking up in the back seat of her automobile.  Head pounding from the night before she climbed over to the drivers seat and started the motor to head back to the dormitory. Her hall mates were all laughing about how much fun she had, and that handsome man she was dancing with. She did not ever remember dancing but she guessed that she had just been to inebriated to remember.

   Then a month went by like so many others. Then two more weeks passed and she realized she had not had her monthly friend. Panic filled her mind as she thought of the night at the pub. She soon rushed off to her gynecologist. The secretary had her fill out a few forms then sent her to the back to urinate in a container. “ This has to be the most disgusting way of testing someone for anything” thought to herself. With the lid to the specimen tightly closed she handed it to the nurse. The nurse showed her to a tiny room for her to await the doctor in. An uneasy filling filled her as normal when she enters a hospital room. It might be all the instruments hanging on the walls or the posters of half humans and body part that always makes her want to cringe when she is in a room like this.

A knock on the door tells her that the doctor is about to enter. The door opens and a stately woman enters. Doctor Sydney Doyle is an aging woman with short gray hair and glasses that perch on her long nose.

“Well Hello Morgan it is nice to see you today” said Dr. Doyle “lets see what we have here” The Doctor looked over her glasses and down her long nose at the clip board cradled in her arm. “Well, well looks like someone is going to be a mother”

“Morgan!” “Morgan!” “Wake up dear you had fainted” a voice said

Morgan opened her eyes to see the nurse and the doctor hovered over her.
“It cant be” Morgan cried, “it just cant be I do not have the means to take care of a babe” her heart sank as she realized that the doctor would not lie to her. All her dreams were gone.

On the way back to the university she passed the Planned Parenthood Abortion clinic. How convenient she thought, right down the lane of the gynaecologist. Her heart was pounding as she thought about it. She could have a normal life and no one but her would know what happened. She turned her automobile around and drove up the drive. Her heart raced and felt like it would come through her chest. The secretary just smiled and handed her a form. With nervous hands she scrawled her name across the page and soon the form was complete. How she was able to even write one letter she will never know. She was as frightened  as a dingo in a thunderstorm. The secretary said not a word but handed her a card with a date on it.

Morgan slipped the card in her pocketbook and ran out the door. She wanted to get as far away from that place as she possible could.  The drive back to her hall seemed shorter than it has ever been before. Safely in her room she bolted the door closed. All she wanted was to sit and think, she sat at the tiny desk in the corner. But soon had to move do to the amount of work piled on the little desk.  She laid down on the hard bed and looked at the ceiling. And only then did she remember the card the secretary gave her. She pulled the plain white card from her pocket book and read the what it said in bold letters it said P.P.A.  Then under those letters it read “The choice is yours to make”. The card then went on to give the time and date of her appointment.

Two very long weeks passed as she waited for the appointment. Her schooling started to falter in those two weeks. She could simple not keep her mind on her work. All she could think about was the babe that was growing in her uterus. Finally the day came, she braved herself as she stepped into the office of the PPA. She sat nervously waiting the nurse to call her in. While she waited she noticed that there were a hand full of other women there. Some looked happy and some looked glum and nervous like her.  The happy girls seemed much younger than herself. “Why?” she thought to herself, “why would you be happy to do this?” The thought weighed heavy on her mind when she heard the nurse call her name. Summoning all her strength she stepped behind the door to follow the nurse. After a long walk down a narrow hallway they came to a room. The nurse bid her to stay and wait for the doctor.

For one reason or another this room seemed more terrifying than any other she had ever been in. There were pictures of fetuses hanging on the wall and instruments that she had never seen before. Soon the doctor came in, he was a short fellow with a short nose. His appearance surprised her because most doctors she saw were not over weight and this man was.  He walked in the room and addressed her as if he had just run a marathon, the odd little man was out of  breath.

“Miss morgana this is what we are going to do to remove the fetus from you. We will sedate you and use this pump (he pointed to a wicked looking thing on the wall) and suck the fetus out. We will make sure that you will be in no pain after words” and with a grim smile he called for his nurse. “But first you will have to take this pill and wait in the lobby. This pill will make you dilate so that it is easier for the fetus to come out.” The doctor then walked out the door leaving her with the nurse.  

The nurse handed her a pill and a glass of water. Fear welled up in Morgan as she looked at the oddly shaped pill. “Is this pill really worth it? Is it worth a life?” Morgan asked the nurse. The nurse looked sad and turned away.

“I can not answer that, it is your choice to make” the nurse said

Morgan thought she heard tears in the nurses voice but did not want to ask anymore. The sadness of the nurse told her the truth.  “I have changed my mind, no life is worth a pill”

the nurse turned around and a smile crept across her face. “ A choice I truly wish I had made once, no life is worth a pill”

the nurse lead Morgan down the hallway and opened the door for her. A great relief was lifted off Morgan that day. She was truly happy that she had not gone through with that.  

Morgan soon told everyone of her condition and only a few of her hall mates still joked about that night. But no one seemed to know who the man was or where he came from. Soon time passed and Her belly grew bigger and bigger. She studied even harder now, she just had to make a life for her child.

Soon Christmas came and she was out of university for holiday. Morgan took the long trip back to her home town. She so much wanted to see her family again. She soon arrived at a small cottage at the edge of town. Inside she could hear her twin brothers fighting over the last piece of mint stick candy. She chuckled then wrapped a merry little tune on the door. Almost at once the door flew open and out ran the six year old boys. Wrapping all their arms around her.

“Ouch!” exclaimed one brother “something hit my face.”

The other brother backed up, looked her up and down and said. “Sister you have gained a lot of weight since we last saw you.”

Morgan laughed and walked in the cottage. Her mother greeted her with a hug and a smile. Then looked at her protruding belly.

“Dear you should have told us there would be two for dinner, now where is the father. Don’t tell me you left him in the car.”

Fear sunk back in her heart. “No mother I did not leave him in the car” and she then told the whole family what had happened.

Her father looked stern then she noticed a puzzling look on his face then he shook it off as it he had a bad taste in his mouth. “What is done is done, and you did do the right thing.”

    Christmas morning arrived and her brothers woke up yelling “It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!” in unison. Every one woke with a groggy start. Morgans mother just smiled at the twins and set to work making breakfast and morning tea. While Morgans father sat him his old chair near the hearth and watched the boys make a mess of ribbons and paper. Morgan settled herself in chair and watched the show with her father.

The morning went well everyone laughing and having a merry time. Then Morgan stood up and before she could say anything her brothers were exclaiming that she wet her pants. She was horrified that she was soaked. Why did her water have to break on Christmas in front of the family? Could it not have waited till she was alone or in the bath? She looked at her father who was white as a bed sheet, then at her mother who was calmly  getting her coat on. ‘Come on dear get your coat on it a tad bit nippy out today” she heard her mother say.

Morgan got her coat on and walked to the automobile where her mother already had it running. He mother leaned out the window and told her father to watch the boys till she got back. Morgans dad still looking stunned just nodded and went back inside. “Your father will be alright he acted the same way when you and the boys were born” her mother said.

The drive to the hospital seemed to take forever and the contractions were coming more regular now. She just hoped that she would make it to the hospital in time. She really did not want to have her babe in her mothers automobile.
They got to the hospital and settled Morgan in a room. A nurse informed her that dr. Doyle would not be able to attend her. Dr Doyle was attending another delivery in a town an  hour and a half away.  Morgan was beside herself, who was going to deliver her babe now? Then in walked a woman not much older than herself. She introduced herself as Dr. Clara Banks. She had th softest smile and the kindest voice which soothed Morgans fears over.

The delivery went fast and soon the doctor was laying a wet crying babe in her arms. ‘Congratulations it’s a boy” the doctor said.

“A boy” Morgan said out loud, “a beautiful boy, I will name him Chance, for the chance at life I  have given him.”    

     The next  day she sat by the window watching the soft snow fall gently to the ground. She watched Big Ben as it hands were slowly moving and in the background she could hear the solid cry’s of a new born babe. She reluctantly pulls herself from the frosted window to care for the crying infant. Stiff and sore from the previous days exertions she slowly makes her way to the bassinet. She pears down to an red wrinkled babe. “Could this babe really be hers, Did she really deliver such a tiny creature?” the thoughts raced across her mind.  What was she going to do now, how was she going to be able to care for a babe? She still had one term left of university. She struggled with the thought of not being able to finish her schooling as she carried the wrinkled babe to a chair.

  Sitting in the plush chair she pressed the babe to her breast. The babe latched on with a firm grip and began to nurse. “At least he is strong” she thought to herself, “ He will grow up to be a fine lad”

A knock came at the door and it opened to reveal her father, he quietly entered the room and looked very unnerved. He cleared his throat and said “Morgan, now may not be the time but there is a lad I want you to meet.”

Morgan just gaped at her father. “Father I just had a babe, I am not looking for a lad at the moment”

“I know my dear but hear me out, this lad came to work for my company a few months ago and he told a story of a lass he met and had an outing with. This has troubled the lad for he went back to the pub everyday for a month in hopes to catch the lass he was with. Please will you speak to him, he may or may not b the lad you were with that night but you will never know if you never see him.”

“Show him in then father.” Morgan sighed she really did not think this could possible be the same person.   

Her father walked into the hall and said something she could not hear, then in walked a tall thin rugged man. His eyes were almost black, but had a twinkle of hope and excitement in them. His hair was dark brown and his whiskers were unkept. His face is what coughed Morgan she had seen his face before some where but could not recall. Could this be him? Could this be the father of his child. Then before she could ask, he was kneeling by her chair weeping.

“I have searched for you, I asked everyone that came to the pub if they knew the lass that I had been with that night. No one could tell me. I waited and waited to see if you would return. You never did, I had all but given up hope when your father phoned me yesterday. He said his daughter had a similar story and thought I should meet you in the hopes that we were the ones from our stories.” the man said as he wept

Morgan knew then that he was the one from that night. Her memory returned a little after seeing his face. Though he had trimmed his whiskers at the time they met. Morgan then said “this may be a silly question but what is your name”

The man just laughed and replied “David, David Browning”

“well David there is someone I want you to meet” Morgan said as she removed the babe from her breast. “Meet your son Chance”

David picked the little bundle up and cradled it in his long arms then placed the boy on his chest and patted his back till a small belch came out. He laughed and exclaimed “that’s my boy”

Over the next few months Morgan and David got to know one another and decided to get married. David moved to town with Morgan so she could still go to university. And he got a job there so as to take care of his family.

Things worked out well for the couple and soon they were having a second child. David loved Morgan and his children and were never apart from them again. As for Morgan she got her degree and decided she would rather be a mother after all.  She still thinks back to the day at the PPA and never regrets the decision she made or the sad look in the nurses eyes. She   is living her dream and all her hopes go toward her children. She really did make a life for them and that is something that will never change.



        ~~Ruby~~